frazer ranted:

did you know that the indonesian for 'crazymum' is 'ibu gila'?
Speaking of asbestos, I am also worried that not enough people have educated themselves with the great fable of our time, Tigers in My Gymkhana.

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rob ranted:

Why do people claim that they have lived in haunted houses? Why do people claim that God has spoken to them? Why do people suddenly and unexpectedly go berserk and commit violent acts possibly with guns? Why do people claim that they are being harassed with mind control devices or electromagnetic weapons? Well its because they are being blasted with Sonic Weaponary of course, fool !

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web ranted:

well u know what percentages make up rob, but heres a visual representation.. "hold on mother, dont take the pic yet, ive slipped out...oh too late"

[edited by web:- as beautiful as you are rob, i'm afraid i cannot look at you anymore!]
[editededed by chris. please, lets keep this picture small, its frightening my eyes. As my eyes are made of wasps this has resulted in my getting stung by my own frightened eyes. Thank you]
[edited by rob:- with stungeth eyes you will see my true beauty, mwahahahah !

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web ranted:

frazer, you been hooking up with chick boys again?

you know what i am talking about

I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about [frazer]

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chris ranted:

does this agree more with your stinking rules???

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rob ranted:

wow, I�ve been given the privilege to rant, but before I do, here is a little about moi: I am 16% aluminum, 63% cheese and 21% dust. I own several acres of air above lowestoft and I am a l33t AOL hax0r. Anyway I hate it when ppl refer to going out for a drink as �going out on the lash� anyone who uses this term within 3m of me will be entering a world of pain.

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web ranted:

right then we are back to yellow! still no sign of any goats, glue, fan signs or even any food for the wasps. but none of this matters when there is a plastic wrap pr0n comp running

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chris ranted:

MonkeyStory by Leon Bailey aged 22 months

i like monkeys. the pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.i thought this was odd since they are normally a couple thousand. i decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so i bought 200 of them. i like monkeys. i took my 200 monkeys home. i have a big car. i let one drive. his name was signund. he was retarded. in fact, none of them were really bright. they kept punching themselves in the genitals. i laughed. they punched me in the genitals. i stopped laughing. i herded them into my room. they didn't adapt very well to their new environment. they would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. altough humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into the third hour. two hours later, i found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. no apparent reason. they all just stort of dropped dead. kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. doggone cheap monkeys. i didnt' know what to do. there were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. it looked like i had 200 throw rugs. i tried to flush one down the toilet. it didn't work. it got stuck. then i had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys. i tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. that worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. it started to smell real bad. i had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and i didn't want to call the plumber..i was embarrassed. i tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. unfortunately, there was only enough room for two at a time, so i had to change them every 30 seconds. i also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad. i tried to burn them, but little did i know that my bed was flammable. i had to extinguish the fire. then i had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet; two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. the odor wasn't improving. i became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and i really had to use the bathroom. so i went and severely beat one of the monkeys. i felt better. i tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. i told him i had a wet one. he wouldn't take it either. i didn't bother asking about the frozen ones. i finally arrived at a solution. i gave them out as christmas gifts. my friends didn't quite know what to say. they pretended to like them, but i could tell they were lying. ingrates. so i punched them in the genitals. i like monkeys. hello.

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