frazer ranted:

The Otter was a improved version of the previous Vaterland and Tsingtau type gun boats determined to protect the German economic interests in the Far East. She had stronger propulsion system, two funnels, additional splinter protection and a was carved out of a giant block of soap - a first for a German warship.

So, whether you are competing on the range, plinking, or hunting in the field, remember two extremely important safeguards. The first is that firearms combined with alcohol and illicit drug use is a dangerous and deadly mix. The second is beware of fatigue, particularly when hunting. Alcohol, drugs and fatigue impair your judgment and your behavior, and they exponentially increase the likelihood of an accident. Combining guns with any one of these compromises your safety, and the safety of those around you.

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chris ranted:

Sometimes they make me happy,
Sometimes they make me sad,
They Always make me think,
They Always like to drink.

but those crazy Japanese have surpased themselves this time.
I am scared and confused.

YATTA!!!

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chris ranted:

twat

LOOK OUT!!!
Shit! did you see that!

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frazer ranted:

The Ten Tasks Of One-Armed, One-Legged Hercules

Task 1) Opening a bag of Doritos whilst standing in a hammock.
Task 2) Playing the saxaphone solo from 'Baker Street' whilst kicking a football up an escalator.
Task 3) Beating a gazelle unconscious.
Task 4) Teaching a deaf boy to dance the hokey-cokey.
Task 5) Changing a duvet cover in the back of a moving caravan.
Task 6) Entering a playroom naked and preventing a child from crying.
Task 7) Visiting the site that I ripped this off from.
Task 8) Crossing a rope bridge wearing a big bowler hat made of lead.
Task 9) Knitting a jumper at gunpoint.
Task 10) Riding a micro-scooter into a pool hall and winning 6 games in a row.

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frazer ranted:


	Les Dennis

Les Dennis is acknowledged as one of Britain's most popular entertainers. Well known to TV viewers as host of top ITV show FAMILY FORTUNES and the ITV primetime entertainment show GIVE YOUR MATE A BREAK and through his BBC TV series THE LES DENNIS LAUGHTER SHOW.
In 1997 he made his big screen debut in the film Intimate Relations with Julie Walters and Rupert Graves.
Theatre credits include; Me & My Girl (Adelphi), Don't Dress for Dinner (tour), Skylight (Watermill), Mr Wonderful (Chester) and he recently returned to the West End stage for a season as Amos Heart in the award winning hit musical Chicago at the Adelphi.
On TV he was the voice of The Fool in Channel 4's animation The Wyrd Sisters.
He recently appeared in Channel 5's soap Family Affairs plus he has presented special features for Wish You Were Here and guest roles in The Grimleys, The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer.
Born and brought up in Liverpool, Les has a flexible, familiar, upbeat voice - great for impersonations and characterisations.

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frazer ranted:

Osama Bin Ladens Underground Fortress Exclusive

With Americans literally breaking down the door of terror, the CIA have released secret blueprints of the underground fortress EXCLUSIVELY to the crazymum site. The evil villain lives in a secret underground hole, dug by fundamentalist chinchillas, where he spends his days playing with his revolving floor that reveals a map of the world and his plans for its domination. The place is literally riddled with cunning traps, not unlike those in the film 'The Goonies'.
His Taliban troops have their traditional Afghan meals of muesli and whelks prepared by Rusty Lee and Madhur Jaffrey in the kitchen, whilst his evil henchmen Skeletor, Bobby Davro and Electric Russel block the entrances like that bloke off the TV.
Bin Liner plans to escape in underground emergency otters contaminted with Anthrax, and the CIA will then use his lair to film scenes for the sequal to Lord of The Rings.

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chris ranted:

frazer youre actually scaring me now. More so than even the largest envelope filled with the finest quality anthrax.
are you going to take over the world with plankton using otters as some form of terrifying transport?

if so, can i have the canary islands?

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frazer ranted:

Designer Vagina!

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